why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
bring money and cleavage
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
