They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
