I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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