# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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