she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
