He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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