i jhust puked up my retainher.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
