I hope mine doesn't look like that
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
