dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
