69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize