I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
