I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
