he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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