I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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