those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
