Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
