What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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