omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize