So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize