a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
