i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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