U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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