I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think your dad took our porno
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
