WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
