um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
