drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
