therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
