My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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