woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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