I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
