you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
