we're blogging at a bar
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
