I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just invented taco cereal.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
