im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize