Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize