What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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