hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just tell him i said nine months
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
