We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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