Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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