oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
