how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize