her vagine was all disorganized.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
