My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize