This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
