Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
