I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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