i permit you to call me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
