yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm at about main and main street
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
