I wannas sexs uuuuu
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
