I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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