it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
