id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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