Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
