I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize