Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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