come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
