so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
