The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
