My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
