dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
