shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
