the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
