So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His nipple licking is glorious
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