your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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