Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize