i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
