I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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