with your own penis?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
