I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize