Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
