How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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