It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize