you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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