I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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