I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
