are you so shy because you have an std?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
