Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize