it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
