Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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